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Testimony

from Bread Crumbs by Orijin

/
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lyrics

I got low esteem. My family's broken so/ Woe is me. Your man's emotions go/ Southbound, doubts now cloud my thoughts/ Lost count now of how many bouts I've fought/ With social anxiety and depression. I cope with pain quietly/ Self-deception, I'm showin' fake piety, trynna be righteous/ But broken inside of me, the irony's priceless/ I got no clue where I should turn/ Friends don't know, don't share my concern/ Dare I return to the circular chain of the curses and blame, all the hurt and the pain/ Or reverse and refrain from getting' involved?/ Emotionally, I'm feelin' like a medicine ball/ I've taken so many hits, man, I'm ready to fall/ This burden's too heavy to haul. Who can I call?

Hook:
If there's any way out, let me know/ This pain in my soul is taking its toll/ But, Lord, I know it's for your glory/ I trust you will restore me/ So I smile all the while/ You turn trials into testimonies

It's hard to forgive and pardon a sin/ Funny how the same flaws are harbored within myself as the souls that I often condemn/ I just keep 'em caged in like a dog in a pen/ 'Cause I long to defend my pride and integrity/ Eyes made blind to my lies and my jealousy/ Through Christ's eyes, now I'm seeing much clearer/ Reflecting on my past like I'm staring in a mirror/ So many times I wasn't keepin' the faith/ I betrayed trust, made such frequent mistakes/ But if I wanna be treated with grace/ I've got an abundance of the ugliest grudges that I need to replace/ With true love and forgiveness/ Done with the sickness inflictin' my soul and the ones that I live with/ This just a snippet/ I ain't nothing special, homie/ This just my testimony so that y'all could get to know me

[Hook]

Now, usually I'm not easily depressed/ But, recently, the stress got me sleepin' needin' rest/ For my soul, body, and mind/ Hard to wholeheartedly climb/ Knowing that my goal's hardly defined/ It's like, Father God, could you remind me of the plan again?/ Feels like I'm at a standstill like a mannequin/ In a department store/ The pressure's rising. I don't know how much my heart could store/ It's startin' to pour and I'm standin' here with no umbrella/ Simply calling out your name 'cause theirs no one better/ That I could turn to but you at times like these/ No finite means is ever gon' supply my needs/ But I know that you're near, Lord. No use in fear/ Hold hope through despair – nevermind I'm weak/ In the midst of battle, I'll find peace/ Armed with this double-edged sword that's inside my sheath.

credits

from Bread Crumbs, released July 30, 2013

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